| Wednesday, January 10, 2007
| The (bad) Erotic Novel Title Challenge
I've been thinking of titles and will admit not all I've come up with are gems waiting to shine. There are several things that go into a book, not all of which are under an author's control. We get coverart, good or bad. We get distribution, placement, advertising help--all at the will of others. But there are things we do get a big say in.
Aside from writing the book and (for some of us) occasionally the blurb (that gets used), naming characters (hey I almost named a heroine Valora, which I still think is pretty but of which someone pointed out it sounded like and STD). The title is perhaps one of the most important decisions we have to make when it comes to marketing. A bad title can make or break a book.
Okay, so I'm bored and amusing myself by creating titles to what could be horrible erotic novel titles. The challenge? Come up with your own and post them here (since i have two blogs - blogger and myspace, i reserve the right to copy them over so everyone can see). And, if you're feeling really ambitious, make it a tag line too.
And what's a challenge without a prize? So, I will give away a PDF copy of winner's choice from any of my ebook backlist.
To start us off, my favorite romantic suspense title out of my list:
|posted by Michelle Pillow @ 10:06 AM
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Is That A Banana In Your Pocket?
Hi Michelle. I'm not real good at making things up, but I thought I'd try.
What about: Hot and Horny
The Hand Job
I told you I wasn't any good, lol
Hmm lets see:
THE BLOWN JEWELS *snort*
Ok, I'm stopping before I giggle to death. LOL
When the "O" Stands for Over
King of the Little People
I think I'm spent for now, gonna be pondering this all day though. Sigh, there goes my work...LOL
This is not easy....
GI Joe's Erotic Barbie Adventure
With Sex You Get Dildos
(remember that old movie, With Six You Get Eggrolls....lol)
The Bondage Twins
Beating Around The Bush
Okay Okay - stop groaning, I'm stopping....
LOL... you asked...
Come with Me [for those that can spell]
Kum with Me [for those that can't]
Hey i love it when you get bored you come up with the kookiest ideas
heres my woeful list
whip crack'n Lip smack'n fun
i touch myself
when harry met sally - the transvestite
The erotic adventures of Golemn & Smeagol
Book 2 when Golemn finds out Smeagol is his alter ego
Love me love my herpies
im getting worse so i will try to think i up a few crackers for you
Baby Free (Single women with no kids)
Aim to Please
I Like the way you work it
~THE PENIS IS MIGHTIER THAN THOSE WORDS
~WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM
~THANKS FOR THE STDS (subtitle - They Last Longer than Memories)
~THE VIGILANTE VIRGIN
~WHERE THERE'S PORN THERE'S DESIRE (my twisted version of Where there's Smoke there's Fire)
~WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO WHEN SHE LOVES A BOY AND ANOTHER BOY WHO LOVES HER AND THE OTHER BOY TOO?
~VACUUM CLEANERS AND DILDOS
~LUST ON THE ROCKS
~MY FAVORITE POWER TOOLS AND SEX TOYS
I'd better stop as the more warped side of my sense of humor tries to beat it's way out of my head through my eyeballs, LOL!
Size Does Matter
The Little "O"
Not Hard Enough
Hammer me Baby
Twin Pleasures are Better
On Top of Mike's Peak
There are some good ones!!!! My trys:
Learning to Please
I like Rough Games
Cum For Me
Have Dick Will Travel
I'm just copy-pasting this from MySpace, since all the responses seem to be here:
First, I want to say that I think "Valora" is a really pretty name.
Bad erotic romance titles. Hmmm...
HOMER AND GERTRUDE
SPLISH SPLOSH (Actually, maybe that's a great name for anybody into sploshing. If you don't know, "sploshing" is messy food sex, or certain other messy things used during sex.)
BAKING BREAD (about a guy hot for a chick with a yeast infection)
ORAL CORNEAL (Oculolinctus, or eyeball licking, is a real fetish, again if you don't know. I'm not trying to insult your intelligence, but I don't know if you've heard these terms, so I'm explaining, in case you, or anyone who reads this post, haven't.)
HORNY MANATEE (Ok, this one doesn't really count. It's a site, HornyManatee.com, owned by NBC because of an amusing situation on Conan O'Brien. The site has all kinds of sexy manatee pics! I just thought it would be fun to share.)
TINYTALLYWHACKER.COM: A TALE OF INTERNET LOVE
UP THE POOP CHUTE, DOWN THE SNATCH
THE STD QUEEN
Oh, I could do this all day! :D
Cum on Feel it Boys
Sex Toys R Us
Call Me For a Good Time
I think I suck at this but I will attempt to make a fool of myself! LOL!
Finger Licking Good
Spank Me Again
Trust Me, You'll Love It
Ugh, I really do suck at this.
A for Effort though Michelle.
Comin' Through Them All
Doing It the Hard Way and Loving It
A Royal Bash
Forgotten in Hades
Oh gosh, some of these are hilarious, my husband were going back and forth on these, LOL!
My Mechanics tool (I couldn't resist, my hubby is a mechanic)
Another F&^%$*G romance novel (that came from my hubby, ROFL)
Up in twat
Real Woman Fake it
How to Arouse a guy in 10 days
A rubber runs through it
Something wicked this way cums
Tale of two titties
Meter maid gets laid
When Harry Spanked Sally
Passing the Buck
Lady Plumber takes the plunger
Another Hard Boys Mystery
Nancy drew a phallus
Hee, this sounds like fun. Lessee...
Up and Coming
Situation Normal: All Fucked
Okay, these are sounding like porn titles. Well, they probably are. I'd give you The Internet Is For Porn, but Avenue Q already did that. I have it as a ringtone...
Cum One, Cum All
Free Furr All
Jillian's Jilted Jigalo (yes, I know it's spelled wrong....lol)
Johnson Cave Diving
Relax: It only hurts the first time
(This made me laugh so much, I had to add one)
In the spirit of "Weird Al" Yankovic:
Call of the Unwashed
Skeeze, the Hunter
Temptation of the Butterfingers
Realm Immortal III: The Dowager Queen
Caught (My Pantyhose)
Galaxy Playmates: Olivine
Phantom of the Tea Time
The Maiden, the Monster, and the Microwave
The Flighty Hunter
And (just for fun):
Some Like it Tepid