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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
The (bad) Erotic Novel Title Challenge

I've been thinking of titles and will admit not all I've come up with are gems waiting to shine. There are several things that go into a book, not all of which are under an author's control. We get coverart, good or bad. We get distribution, placement, advertising help--all at the will of others. But there are things we do get a big say in.

Aside from writing the book and (for some of us) occasionally the blurb (that gets used), naming characters (hey I almost named a heroine Valora, which I still think is pretty but of which someone pointed out it sounded like and STD). The title is perhaps one of the most important decisions we have to make when it comes to marketing. A bad title can make or break a book.

Okay, so I'm bored and amusing myself by creating titles to what could be horrible erotic novel titles. The challenge? Come up with your own and post them here (since i have two blogs - blogger and myspace, i reserve the right to copy them over so everyone can see). And, if you're feeling really ambitious, make it a tag line too.

And what's a challenge without a prize? So, I will give away a PDF copy of winner's choice from any of my ebook backlist.

To start us off, my favorite romantic suspense title out of my list:
SHOOTING BLANKS
posted by Michelle Pillow @ 10:06 AM  

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22 Comments:
  • At 7:07 AM, Blogger Annmarie McKenna said…

    Is That A Banana In Your Pocket?

     
  • At 7:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Michelle. I'm not real good at making things up, but I thought I'd try.

    What about: Hot and Horny
    The Hand Job
    Practice Sex

    I told you I wasn't any good, lol

    Crystal B.

     
  • At 9:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey Michelle!

    Hmm lets see:

    WET DREAMS
    CREAMY DELIGHTS
    THE BLOWN JEWELS *snort*

    Ok, I'm stopping before I giggle to death. LOL

    Chelle

     
  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger polheber2 said…

    Mediocre Delights?

    OH or...

    Why Me?

    When the "O" Stands for Over

    King of the Little People

    I think I'm spent for now, gonna be pondering this all day though. Sigh, there goes my work...LOL

    Serena

     
  • At 12:45 PM, Blogger Robin Snodgrass said…

    This is not easy....

    GI Joe's Erotic Barbie Adventure

    or

    With Sex You Get Dildos
    (remember that old movie, With Six You Get Eggrolls....lol)

    or

    The Bondage Twins

    or

    Beating Around The Bush


    Okay Okay - stop groaning, I'm stopping....

    Hugs,
    Robin S

     
  • At 12:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL... you asked...

    Come with Me [for those that can spell]
    Kum with Me [for those that can't]

    BV

     
  • At 4:28 PM, Anonymous Jess said…

    Hey i love it when you get bored you come up with the kookiest ideas

    heres my woeful list

    whip crack'n Lip smack'n fun
    i touch myself
    when harry met sally - the transvestite
    The erotic adventures of Golemn & Smeagol
    Book 2 when Golemn finds out Smeagol is his alter ego
    Love me love my herpies

    im getting worse so i will try to think i up a few crackers for you

    HUGS
    Jess

     
  • At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Mona said…

    Baby Free (Single women with no kids)


    Aim to Please

    I Like the way you work it

    Mona

     
  • At 5:51 PM, Blogger amy2ericky said…

    How about:
    ~THE PENIS IS MIGHTIER THAN THOSE WORDS
    ~WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM
    ~THANKS FOR THE STDS (subtitle - They Last Longer than Memories)
    ~THE VIGILANTE VIRGIN
    ~WHERE THERE'S PORN THERE'S DESIRE (my twisted version of Where there's Smoke there's Fire)
    ~WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO WHEN SHE LOVES A BOY AND ANOTHER BOY WHO LOVES HER AND THE OTHER BOY TOO?
    ~VACUUM CLEANERS AND DILDOS
    ~LUST ON THE ROCKS
    ~MY FAVORITE POWER TOOLS AND SEX TOYS

    I'd better stop as the more warped side of my sense of humor tries to beat it's way out of my head through my eyeballs, LOL!

     
  • At 6:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Free Willy

    Size Does Matter

    The Little "O"

    Not Hard Enough

     
  • At 8:22 PM, Blogger Amy S. said…

    Hammer me Baby

    Twin Pleasures are Better

    On Top of Mike's Peak

     
  • At 10:27 PM, Blogger Joan said…

    There are some good ones!!!! My trys:

    Learning to Please
    I like Rough Games
    Licking Honey
    Strange Places

     
  • At 10:54 PM, Blogger Liz said…

    Cum For Me
    Wanna Fuck
    Have Dick Will Travel
    Cherry Picker
    Baby Maker
    Boney
    Mustache Rides
    Good Vibrator
    Fuck Me

     
  • At 11:59 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    I'm just copy-pasting this from MySpace, since all the responses seem to be here:

    First, I want to say that I think "Valora" is a really pretty name.

    Bad erotic romance titles. Hmmm...

    DRIBBLE
    HOMER AND GERTRUDE
    HEAD CHEESE
    SPLISH SPLOSH (Actually, maybe that's a great name for anybody into sploshing. If you don't know, "sploshing" is messy food sex, or certain other messy things used during sex.)
    BAKING BREAD (about a guy hot for a chick with a yeast infection)
    ORAL CORNEAL (Oculolinctus, or eyeball licking, is a real fetish, again if you don't know. I'm not trying to insult your intelligence, but I don't know if you've heard these terms, so I'm explaining, in case you, or anyone who reads this post, haven't.)
    HORNY MANATEE (Ok, this one doesn't really count. It's a site, HornyManatee.com, owned by NBC because of an amusing situation on Conan O'Brien. The site has all kinds of sexy manatee pics! I just thought it would be fun to share.)
    DROOL BABY
    CUMCHUGGER
    TINYTALLYWHACKER.COM: A TALE OF INTERNET LOVE
    CLUSTER F*CK
    UP THE POOP CHUTE, DOWN THE SNATCH
    THE STD QUEEN

    Oh, I could do this all day! :D

     
  • At 6:38 AM, Blogger Cherie said…

    Ball Buster
    Cum on Feel it Boys
    Sex Toys R Us
    Call Me For a Good Time

    Cherie J

     
  • At 11:59 AM, Anonymous DebbieE said…

    Hi Michelle,

    I think I suck at this but I will attempt to make a fool of myself! LOL!

    Lick-A-Licious
    Finger Licking Good
    Spank Me Again
    Trust Me, You'll Love It

    Ugh, I really do suck at this.
    A for Effort though Michelle.

     
  • At 5:00 PM, Anonymous Janet said…

    Comin' Through Them All
    Doing It the Hard Way and Loving It
    A Royal Bash
    Forgotten in Hades

     
  • At 8:07 PM, Blogger Cathie said…

    Oh gosh, some of these are hilarious, my husband were going back and forth on these, LOL!

    My Mechanics tool (I couldn't resist, my hubby is a mechanic)

    Another F&^%$*G romance novel (that came from my hubby, ROFL)

    Up in twat
    Real Woman Fake it
    How to Arouse a guy in 10 days
    A rubber runs through it
    Something wicked this way cums
    Tale of two titties
    Organ Master
    Meter maid gets laid
    When Harry Spanked Sally
    Passing the Buck
    Lady Plumber takes the plunger
    Another Hard Boys Mystery
    Nancy drew a phallus

    LOL

     
  • At 6:52 AM, Blogger Cat Marsters said…

    Hee, this sounds like fun. Lessee...

    Up and Coming
    Come Again
    Situation Normal: All Fucked
    Fuck-Buddies
    Cock-a-doodle-you

    Okay, these are sounding like porn titles. Well, they probably are. I'd give you The Internet Is For Porn, but Avenue Q already did that. I have it as a ringtone...

     
  • At 2:36 PM, Blogger Robin Snodgrass said…

    Cum One, Cum All

    Free Furr All

    Jillian's Jilted Jigalo (yes, I know it's spelled wrong....lol)

    Johnson Cave Diving

     
  • At 8:06 AM, Blogger Rene Lyons said…

    Relax: It only hurts the first time

    (This made me laugh so much, I had to add one)

     
  • At 8:48 AM, Blogger Katharine said…

    In the spirit of "Weird Al" Yankovic:
    Call of the Unwashed
    Skeeze, the Hunter
    Temptation of the Butterfingers
    Flaming Him
    Realm Immortal III: The Dowager Queen
    Poppycock Rising
    Eternal Halitosis
    Caught (My Pantyhose)
    Penultimate Mercenaries
    Galaxy Playmates: Olivine
    Phantom of the Tea Time
    The Maiden, the Monster, and the Microwave
    Spectral Dogs
    The Flighty Hunter

    And (just for fun):
    Some Like it Tepid

     
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Michelle M Pillow
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